It was a foolish decision. I find myself subcontracted to source and supply five metres of MDF

It is that two-hour window of the night – roughly between 3.30am and 5.30am – that I reserve to lie awake in the grip of nameless dread, heart thudding against my rib cage. During these dark times I’m keenly aware of both the fragility of existence and the sheer amount of admin involved.

I know it’s 5.30am when I hear the long, yawning note of an iron school gate being swung open, and I sit upright. My wife rolls over.

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