One Easter day, I looked in her hutch to see nine newborns, hairless in the hay. There were two possible explanations. Immaculate conception – or something more salacious

When my beloved guinea pig Nutty died, I found myself yearning for something to fill the furry-animal-shaped hole in my life. Not wanting to betray his memory with another guinea pig, I went for rabbits. But when I set my sights on Thumper, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

She was a perfectly white bunny, with large floppy ears that dragged on the ground as she hopped and covered her face as she slept. She had a cute round bottom and twitched her nose when she could smell food.

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