I’m trying to prepare them for the great reopening on 8 March, but whenever I mention it they look at me as if I have joined QAnon

The reopening of English schools on 8 March brings all the conflicting feelings of which a sentient, mature adult should simultaneously be capable: a strong sense that teachers should be vaccinated first; a near-certain knowledge that they won’t be; a resigned hunch that this is because they are perceived as lefties and so fall into priority group 1,000; and untrammelled happiness for the children.

They were not designed to stay at home all day. It has been like keeping three dolphins in a provincial water park. The pool is not big enough. The weather is too grim. No amount of fish can make up for the lack of open sea. As the regional manager, I know this is not my fault, but it feels like it is.

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