You need to feel informed and in control, says Annalisa Barbieri. Ask yourself: what support do I have now that I didn’t have the first time round?
My first and only child is three and a half, and I’ve been thinking about having another. This is something I really want, but part of me is scared. When I had my first child, it went badly: physically and emotionally. The birth itself was very traumatic, and three days after she was born I had a panic attack, which spiralled into postnatal depression and PTSD from the birth. The first year of her life I found extremely difficult and for a long time I thought I’d never want another child. But I have now changed my mind.
However, I’m worried about my mental and physical health. I am also worried about the inevitable, albeit temporary, distance that a newborn would put between me and my husband, and that the age gap between my children will be too great. I confess I compare myself with other mothers I see on social media. Am I kidding myself into thinking I could cope with two when I found it so hard to cope with one?
