Your Inner Rebel needs some attention, says Philippa Perry. Learn to listen to it and strike a bargain with your willpower

The dilemma I like studying medicine because I want to help people, touch their lives and make a change. I believe that being a doctor gives you lots of opportunities to be a useful member of society. Medicine is at the top of my list of things I find important in life, because it’s going to be my profession. It is a big deal as you affect people’s lives in a big way. But I feel a distance coming between me and medicine, which I don’t understand as I find it so important.

I feel like I can easily mess up. I’m going to start my clinical rotations in the autumn and was wanting to learn some pathophysiology over the summer. I have taught myself lots of things: English, German, French, geometry, biology, and I always enjoyed the journey. But I can’t stay at my desk in order to study medicine. I feel the desire, but… well I’m just not doing it. It feels like I’ll never know everything. I’ll always lack information.

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