Whether for reasons of cost, changed gender roles or the desire for privacy, eating out is no longer such a big part of finding love

It is an unusual option for a January date, but after meeting twice, 42-year-old Sasha thinks she is ready to take things to the next level with the man she has just started seeing. She is planning to take him for a sea swim near her home in East Sussex, followed by a beachside sauna. “I’m just putting it out there: here’s my body. It’s not the body I had when I was 20 but it is what it is.”

They have chatted a lot, first online and then in person, but have never been out to dinner together. “Oh no, I would never go out for dinner with anyone. It’s just so intense and awkward. If someone asked me out for dinner or the cinema, I know they’re not for me.” Asking someone to dinner is “unimaginative and boring”, says Sasha (not her real name). “I just think: snore alert.”

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