Those charged with explaining the policy had been sent into the field without any clear idea of what the word ‘good’ actually meant

On Monday, as part of their ongoing fabricated culture war, a desperate Conservative government declared an incoherent assault on “rip-off” degrees. But there is no one left in the duffer-stuffed Conservative government clever enough to defend the idiotic soundbite that is “Crackdown on Mickey Mouse degrees!” And hasn’t Mickey Mouse suffered enough, being painted over by Robert Jenrick, without having his educational opportunities taken away from him too?

The task of eating a half-baked policy pie full of untested opinion goulash live on TV on a Monday morning fell to the hapless MP for Harlow, education minister Robert Halfon, a man who occupies so many contradictory positions as to appear almost without corporeal form, like a Happy Shopper bag swirling round and round in a gust of wind in a bin store behind one of those adult shops on the A1.

Stewart’s Basic Lee show’s ongoing tour dates are here. A fun-size ™ ® version of the show is at The Stand’s New Town Theatre in Edinburgh from 11-20 August

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