Spending money you don’t actually have is a classic sign of someone not being honest about who they are

This opinion feels about as unfashionable as matching your overly patterned wallpaper to your sofa, but I have some sympathy with Carrie Symonds. As I write, it looks increasingly like Boris Johnson’s reputation might actually be damaged by some rolls of wallpaper, which, on the one hand, is quite amusing when you think of all the terrible things that man has done in his life – and now he’s getting felled by questionable interior decor choices? And yet on the other hand, it does validate my belief in the power of wallpaper, which regular readers will know I have very strong feelings about.

Given that Johnson generally looks like an old bin bag, it seems a safe assumption that his girlfriend is the one in that relationship who cares about home decor. If so, Symonds and I are both strong believers in the importance of making one’s home one’s own, and both of us feel that the most satisfying way to do that is with some punchy wallpaper. I went for zebras, she allegedly went for gold, but I think the two of us understand one another.

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