I have an active and enjoyable sex life with my husband, but I can’t reach orgasm without a great deal of drama. Should I try to be more restrained?
I am a married woman in my 50s who enjoys an active and enjoyable sex life. Unfortunately, I can’t climax any more without a great deal of drama, including moaning, heavy breathing, even crying or shouting. We have teenage children and I worry about the embarrassment that I might cause them. Do you think they are likely to be adversely affected? And do you have any tips for how to have quieter sex?
Rather than trying to gag your natural response, it might be better to do what many people do in family households – find time to have sex when your children are not at home, or find an alternative location. Some people believe that making love should be spontaneous, and are unwilling to plan it, but in fact, making preparations can actually enhance the experience.
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.
If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to [email protected] (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.
Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.
