‘Off the beaten track and in the middle of nowhere: perfect’
On my way to Hidden River Cafe, which I’d booked for my birthday breakfast, I was reminded that when a Cumbrian warns you that somewhere’s “a bit off the beaten track and in the middle of nowhere”, you should take them seriously. They really mean it.
And Hidden River Cafe is indeed hiding, albeit in my favourite part of Cumbria – the forgotten, untouched bit that visitors tend to ignore in their excitement to see the Lake District. This overlooks the glorious patch of almost untouched nothingness to the north-east of the Lakes that starts a few miles outside Carlisle, where you can skim along the southern side of the Scottish border, down miles of the narrowest, puddliest country lanes, passing through villages with names such as Catlowdy, Penton, Haggbeck and Bewcastle; names that, when I was a child, would trip off my grandmother’s tongue in broad Cumberland as we set off to visit cousins who lived all around this area.
