Ministers bank on the public overlooking little issues like rampant sexual misconduct and cronyism. That’s optimistic

How long were the last days of Rome? By some estimates, about 200 years, so I hope you’re sitting comfortably after a week in which: a female MP was baselessly branded an exhibitionist; a male MP was accused of watching porn in the Commons chamber; it was reiterated that 56 MPs are reportedly under investigation for sexual misconduct (three of them in the cabinet); and an MP recently convicted of child sexual assault was revealed to have put in a forward-dated resignation letter, ensuring he’ll collect his full April salary. Meanwhile, the prime minister remains under police investigation over a number of allegations that he broke his own laws to attend parties. Rome-wise, we could have another few thousand weeks of this. Don’t worry – it’ll feel longer.

Still, let’s kick off with the Conservative MP accused by two of his own female colleagues of watching porn in the chamber (and also in a select committee). Tiverton’s Neil Parish has been suspended from the Tory whip, pending investigation by the Commons standards committee, so we’ll have to wait the usual unconscionably long time to discover whether what’s NSFW at your job is or isn’t SFW at his.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

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