Our guide to the bad signs you can’t afford to ignore
Picture it, a romantic restaurant, the perfect first date: the lights are low, the music soft, the food exquisite, and the flirting is moving from playful to saucy at just the right pace. And then, as you reach for the last chunk of focaccia … BAM! He licks every one of his fingers, grabs the bread and rips it in two – offering you the smallest half. Innocent mistake? Simple bad manners? Worse: it’s a red flag. Game over.
Red flags started out with a serious mission: to alert women to signs of potential coercive control within their relationship – for example, being isolated from their friends, manipulating their recollection of events, and limiting their freedom and autonomy. Now, it’s widened to include far pettier things marking out potential love matches as time-wasters, dimwits or shaggers. Instagram and TikTok froth with posts listing telltale signs you’re on to a loser, and the definition of a red flag is rather fluid, incorporating the ancient concept of a turn-off and the newer, more visceral and niche “ick”. It’s an instantly recognisable hazard warning – little red flag emojis alongside a screenshot of a pre-date message or social media post are enough to say stay away.
