From Cabaret to Hamlet, Alan Cumming has relished every role he’s played. In this extract from his uproarious memoir, he reveals what made Stanley Kubrick cross and the amazing gift the Spice Girls gave him

Tom Cruise and Stanley Kubrick were standing before me. I had met Tom briefly when he had come to see me in the stage show of Cabaret in London, but this was my first encounter with Stanley, who was peering at me over his glasses. “Hey, Stanley, I’m Alan,” I said, proffering my hand to this old man who, on first glance, reminded me of a Hobbit version of Salman Rushdie. “You’re not American!” he retorted gruffly.

I had heard tales of Stanley being formidable and demanding, so I was slightly on guard already. “I know,” I said, still rather taken aback. “I’m Scottish!”

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