WISDOM is the sensible ability to give good advice because of the experience and knowledge that you have. Wisdom is also the knowledge that a society or culture has gained over a long period of time.
One of the prophets of old, Hosea, wrote: My people perish for lack of knowledge. Perish, as I understand it, does not mean to die a physical death. There are old and young living corpses around. People who do not know what to do with their life. They have twenty-four hours every day but they keep on spending, instead of wisely investing, their time for good dividends tomorrow.
Mentally, they are dead. They keep on drifting, all because they do not know life, and how to play the game of life. They fail to acquire or even ask questions to people who are moving ahead in life. The spirit of timidity coupled with childish pride has made them continue faking life. They end up in poverty and sorrow.
They expend their anger on the government, their parents, their wives, and their children. People in this situation failed to make sensible decisions at a certain stage in life which has led to where they found themselves today. They’re victims of “people will say” syndrome. They succumb to peer pressure and the desire to belong to a certain class in society. Even when they know they’ve not been accorded the right respect in that group, they keep on enduring. What I know is that water must find its level; oil and water can never mix.
Understanding a situation gives you a quick and correct solution to any problem you may be facing. For husband and wife, they must understand themselves-who they are, and what could work in their favour as per their relationship. They must discover and develop the abilities that could create their dream future for them. See whatever special ability your spouse has as an asset.
Taking it to be or seeing it as anything that could lift one above the other or as a competing factor in your relationship could lead to destruction, if you receive it with thanksgiving and remain positive, not minding what people who are not in the relationship with you would be suggesting; your test would turn to testimony with time.
Mr. Badejoko, an engineer working with a construction company, is an outgoing person, liked by people. He belongs to different groups in the society. He’s married to Bimbo, an administrator at a private secondary school. Mrs. Badejoko is not an outgoing person but she has a pleasing personality which makes people warm up to her. As a part-time business for more income, she opened a small cold room where she sold chicken, turkey, and frozen fish. Mrs. Bimbo’s character earned her favour with one of the student’s parent in her school who introduced her to one of the fast food outfits to supply them with chicken.
She brought the letter and the first order to her husband and the husband approved of the business. This happened in May/June and by December that year, the glory of God had started showing. She bought a car and according to her, her husband encouraged her to buy the car so as to ease up her movement and then increase her efficiency in her supply business.
Her husband added some money before she could purchase the car. In all, the husband was happy supporting his wife, until sometime when in one of their group meetings, there was an event in which they needed to cook food to entertain their guests and Mr. Badejoko mentioned to members that his wife could supply the needed chicken and fish for the cooking. Other members asked if his wife was no more a school administrator. Mr. Badejoko jokingly mentioned the outfit that his wife was running.
The next time there was a discussion in the meeting, somebody passed a comment to Mrs. Badejoko, saying he hoped that he knew frozen chicken is a booming business: “1l hope you know that once women are financially free, they become uncontrollable'”. The issue turned into a general discussion and everyone started airing their opinion.
Along the line, Mr. Badejoko had a rethink about the extra money coming into the family through his wife. Within a short period, one of his friends, Mr. Alabi, got so interested in the issue, that he continued to show Mr. Badejoko things that are wrong with such freedom given to a wife in the house. Unknown to Mr. Badejoko, Mr. Alabi wanted that business. He wanted to know how they got the contract.
Because they were close. Mr. Badejoko told him that a parent introduced his wife to the manager of the fast food outfit. Mr. Alabi got other members of their group to keep hammering on the bad side of giving a wife a free hand. In the end, Mr. Badejoko started to find fault in his wife’s behaviour and decided to stop the supply business. Mrs, Badejoko could not read between the lines.
The story of how women got money and built house(s) without their husbands’ knowledge; the story of a wife spending money on another man just because she has it and the story of how rich women look down on their husbands bombarded the ears of Mr. Badejoko, not knowing that his friends were envious of him. He could not reason whether his wife was the type of woman to do what these other women were accused of.
The wife ran to the same Mr. Alabi and two other friends whom Mr. Alabi had recruited for his scheme to derail his friend’s family, for help, without suspecting that her husband’s friends were the brain behind the fire burning in her home. She also sought the help of their Pastor. The Pastor tried to reason with Mr. Badejoko to see that his wife, as a true believer who is spirit-filled and committed to God’s word, would not behave in the way he feared. But nothing would make him change his decision. He told the Pastor that he could not swallow his word.
Meanwhile, Mr. Alabi went to the manager of the fast food business and offered to supply at a reduced price compared to what Mrs. Badejoko was supplying the chicken. He also promised the manager a cut out of his profits. The manager quickly pushed Mr. Alabi’s proposal and he was given the job. Mrs. Badejoko had no choice but to stick to her husband’s decision if she still wanted to remain the wife inthe house.
Three months later, Mr. Badejoko, for no just cause, lost his job. He was devastated because he was expecting a promotion. Initially, he hid the information from his wife. The wife noticed that the official car and the diver were no more. Curiosity made her send somebody to her husband’s working place and they were told his appointment had been terminated along with one other senior engineer of the company who happened to be one of Mr. Alabi’s friends.
With this news confirmed, Mrs. Badejoko quickly ran to the fast food manager if she could resume her supplies. While she was waiting to see the manager, Mr. Alabi came to make delivery for the day. Mrs. Badejoko, surprised to see him in the first place, could not ask any questions but just exchanged pleasantries with him.
She waited to see the manager all the same. But the manager said she should give him time since he was not the one who terminated the contract in the first place. Mrs. Badejoko let but she made sure she engaged Mr. Alabi in a discussion about their club. When she got home, she could not wait for her husband to come back. As soon as he stepped in, she narrated what she saw at the manager’s office. Meanwhile, her husband had also got the information that Mr. Alabi is the new supplier.
The news shocked him to reality. He confronted Mr. Alabi who shouted him down saying “It is only a fool like you who will stop his wife from such a paying business. After all, you are an engineer and engineers don’t know how to make easy money outside their site”. He said he needed a business and God provided one for him. He warned Mr. Badejoko never to talk to him on the issue or else his boys would beat him up.
When Mrs. Badejoko now asked to know what was going on, Engineer Badejoko broke down. Realizing his mistake, he vowed not to follow friends’ advice without properly cross-checking issues. He narrated the whole story to his wife and said that because they had been friends he would not know Mr. Alabi could go to such an extent.
There is disappointment in relationships, incorporate organizations, in Christendom, and in government. The way out is to know who you are, and what your desired goal for you and your family is. Discover the route to where you are aiming at and be focused.
Choose a role model or mentor either from a long distance or someone you can sit down with and learn at their feet. Read their books, listen to their audio tapes, and put action behind your knowledge. Also, you must have an intimate relationship with God. He is the only one who will teach you, counsel you, and watch over you as He directs your path.
The spirit of jealousy and envy has enveloped the earth so much that even when you are struggling, people envy you for struggling. There is a peculiar emotional feeling we all have except for the grace of God that helps us out: “Why not me?”. It happens any time somebody is excited, testifying to what God has made to happen for him or her. The person(s) listening would naturally ask why not me?’ unless it is not one of his or her desires.
Jesus Christ said:
“Do not give what is sacred to dogs; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.” (Matthew7:6)
Ignorance made Mr. Badejoko give dogs what was sacred in his family. The swine in his life has trampled upon his pearl and now turned to tear him into pieces. Mr. Alabi promised to send his ‘Boys’ to beat him up when next he asked him any foolish question. That is it. Mr. Badejoko learned his lesson the hard way that you do not open your mouth anyhow, anywhere. Whatever system you have accepted in your home and it is working for you, continue with it. It is true you need friends but you must draw a line between your friends and your family affairs.
There is nothing bad in asking for people’s advice on issues that are of concern to you but in making a final decision, you must put the system operating in your home into consideration. Reason within yourself and be convinced that you are making the right decision based on the situation in your family.
You will have no one to blame if things go wrong because of a bad decision. A responsible husband or wife must know that his or her decision is his other responsibility. As a couple, we must apply wisdom in all we do. Wisdom is the principal thing. Get it! Let us get a proper understanding of our home setting so that we can apply wisdom in all our decision-making processes.
