I find counting up dog haircuts, reptile searches and dual-function kitchen tap replacements helps me gauge my 2022 achievements

Whoever said “that which is measured improves” has never drawn a pencil outline round a damp patch on the ceiling to see if it’s growing. Sometimes, that which is measured gets much, much worse, in some cases before your very eyes.

Still, a little verification can’t hurt. When facing a future as unimaginably bleak as 2023 promises to be, now seems a good time to draw a big pencil outline around 2022, using nothing but cold, hard numbers. This, then, is where things stand for me statistically at year’s end.

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