I’m picking up dog poo on a golf course for a charity video. There must be someone to blame
It’s a cloudy Friday morning and I am standing on a disused golf course somewhere in London, trying and failing to pick up a dog turd. I’m having trouble opening the biodegradable poo bag because of the white gloves I’m wearing. I’m wearing white gloves because I’m dressed as Santa.
The dog is pulling at the lead as I hunch over the wet grass. In the distance an onlooker is standing on the fairway, watching this disturbing scene unfold. He is also dressed as Santa. By the time I get the poo bag draped over my gloved hand, there is another problem.