The prime minister’s pledges to transform the country look about as rock steady as Thames Water’s balance sheets
Another busy week for Britain’s Ministry of Metaphor, as the country’s largest supplier of that luxury product “water” teeters on the brink of collapse. Thames Water has become the latest object lesson in the predictable and predicted folly of privatised monopolies, aided by a regulator that’s an even bigger wet wipe than the fatbergs bunging up the sewers. If you thought leveraged debt was bad when the Glazers did it with Manchester United, it’s possible you’ll find it even worse when water firms are holding you to a 40% bill hike if you simply want one of the essential building blocks of human life to come out of your tap. The companies have acted like cowboy builders who fleece unsuspecting customers for catastrophically poor work, and now want you to pay them huge sums again to fix it.
Back to them in a minute. For now, let’s rewind to early January this year, when the prime minister portentously unveiled his government’s five pledges. You may recall quite a lot of political experts explaining loftily that he had chosen these specific targets as they were actually not all that hard to achieve. As Rishi Sunak put it then: “Those are the people’s priorities. We will either have achieved them or not. No tricks, no ambiguity. We’re either delivering for you or we’re not.”
Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist
