Following his well-worn formula, the ex-EastEnder somehow stretched the straightforward story of a plot to steal £350m of jewels into an hour-long programme

Recipe for one hour of ITV presented by Ross Kemp. Ingredients: one headline story from between five and 20 years ago. Ten minutes of contemporary footage and necessary links and explanation. 50 minutes of padding. A handful of police officers who have never before spoken about the events. One Ross Kemp. Method: mix well. Garnish with hyperbole. Serve raw, shamelessly and repeatedly.

Ross Kemp. Darling heart. Never in the history of human entertainment has one man been cast so wrongly in so much. Unless it’s Saskia Reeves as a cockney sparrer, and honestly, we really must talk about that sometime. Kemp survived nearly a decade of the most operatic of soap storylines as Grant Mitchell in EastEnders (a PTSD-suffering soldier, domestic abuser, cuckold, murder suspect, you name it, Grant was it) despite having a slightly smaller emotional range than Wellard.

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