The chancellor has spent his life praising the virtues of free markets. It’s just a shame they don’t feel the same way about him
Today we consider the plight of chancer chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng with the same sensitivity and grace he brings to his own work: none. It really takes a special class of no-matery to spend £45bn (in old money) and have even rich people you helped actively deplore or pity you. And not just them, but markets too. Imagine spending your entire career extolling the value of free markets, but the first time the free markets get to seriously value you results in a bond market meltdown, the pound hurtling towards dollar and euro parity, and a bleaker prospect for your country than the one opened on Black Wednesday. At time of typing, 10 banks have pulled their mortgage products amid warnings interest rates could hit 6%. The chancellor appears to have brought a pamphlet to a gunfight.
As for how well Kwarteng’s taking it, Friday saw him rising above the bed he’d just shat, declaring: “I don’t comment on market movements.” Righto. Amazing that Kwasi has previously issued comments on everything from statue nonsense to Labour failing to condemn a rail strike, but is not moved to open his trap on the full-spectrum credibility-torching that provoked one bank’s chief economist to observe mildly that “investors seem to regard the UK Conservative party as a doomsday cult”. Oof. I’m not saying Kwarteng’s efforts to retain his grandeur are doomed, but this feels a little like screaming “I don’t comment on this stuff because I have DIGNITY, OK?!” while standing naked in the middle of your local high street in a LIV golf cap with a nappy round your ankles.
Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist
Marina Hyde will join Guardian Live for events in Manchester (4 October) and London (11 October) to discuss her new book, What Just Happened?! For details visit theguardian.com/guardianlive, and order the book from Guardian Bookshop
