You thought this story couldn’t get weirder: but now Central Bedfordshire council has ordered the building to be torn down

To the Captain Tom spa complex, where we might imagine pan-pipe versions of Vera Lynn classics wafting through the air, enveloping select visitors like a really luxurious waffle-weave robe. Perhaps there is some kind of water feature bubbling soothingly with a clear liquid – Captain Sir Tom’s London Dry Gin? – while beyond a notional He Walked So You Could Chill Jacuzzi lies an indoor pool (100 laps mandatory) and a legacy-guarding wellness experience without compare in the central Bedfordshire area.

If you’re thinking, “What did I just read?”, it probably won’t be the first time with the long-tailed story of the former army captain who, at the age of 99, walked up and down his garden to raise money for the NHS during the early stages of the pandemic, and with this small act of kindness went stratospheric. Donations totalling £39m followed, as did a No 1 single, a knighthood, a range of branded products, from lunchboxes to wine calendars – and now, an active investigation by the Charity Commission into concerns the family personally profited from his name, and a planning dispute involving his daughter, Hannah Ingram-Moore, and her local council (more on that in due course). The Captain Tom Foundation this week stopped taking money from donors.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

What Just Happened?! by Marina Hyde (Guardian Faber, £9.99). To support The Guardian and Observer, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.

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