Home secretary assembles the feeblest minds in the country to find someone else to blame for government failures

The grey clouds of summer threatened overhead. But Suella Braverman was too preoccupied to notice as she strode into the Home Office. It was the government’s August extravaganza: small boats week. The latest distraction from the cost of living crisis. A time to make everyone think foreigners were the reason they were broke.

Safe to say it hadn’t got off to the best of starts. How was she supposed to explain away the fact that since Rishi Sunak had promised to “stop the boats” the number of refugees waiting to have their asylum claims processed had risen by more than 10,000. God, she hated lawyers. Sometimes it was easy to forget that she herself had been one. Though how she had passed the exams was a mystery.

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