Marriage is much less of a priority than it used to be, and giving a child a loving upbringing requires more than a ring and a vicar
Is there a word less erotic in the English language than “wedlock”? Some entirely unoriginal people would, of course, argue that “moist” is worse, but for me nothing beats wedlock. (Other than “hubby”.) Seeing it appear in the papers, in light of new figures showing that the majority of babies in England and Wales were born “out of wedlock” in 2021, brought on a strong feeling of queasiness.
It’s a similar feeling to the one provoked by reading about the rollback of abortion rights in the US: the anxiety that the past is so not as distant as you, an autonomous woman in the 21st century, once thought. It’s a reminder that there are still people in the world who think in terms of words like “wedlock” and “bastards” and “illegitimate”, and, usually, “sin”.
Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett is a Guardian columnist and author
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