Love is something you do rather than a thing you fall into, says Philippa Perry
The question My partner and I are both 33. We met around two years ago. He is a kind, attractive person, and from the start it felt safe, relaxed and comfortable, but not especially sparky. This is still true. Yet the more we get to know each other, the more some things improve. Unlike some of my previous partners, he is sensitive, intelligent, consistently kind, caring and generous – qualities I really value and, having had many negative experiences of dating in the past, can appreciate.
The problem is, there is some part of me that is unsure and I don’t know why. I think I’d like someone who initiated more conversation or more adventure. I love and care for him very much. I enjoy his company and feel loved; we have good sex. It all seems to be there, but I want to feel more excited, more thrilled by the relationship. The sense of passion and excitement I had in previous relationships probably came from an unhealthy dynamic, because I never knew where I stood.
