The queen-size mattress technically has the dimensions of a queen mattress, but in practice, it feels much smaller. When the head is raised even slightly, my 5’1″ ankles stick off the end. I’d recommend sizing up, but that means shelling out even more money. And two different firmnesses also creates this awkward no-man’s zone in the middle. Ever tried to snuggle while half of you is resting on a very firm surface and the other half of you is sinking into a very soft one? It’s awkward. And painful.

Moreover, the mattress edges are soft and sloped. It feels like you might fall off in your sleep. After many close calls, my partner and I have developed a routine in which I stick out my hand and he grabs it to provide an anchor when I need to fish for a dropped remote. Otherwise, I might just somersault into the abyss.

But most importantly, the clunky software (and application, and presence) is my biggest issue. The Sleep IQ companion app is the default method of controlling your smart bed, and it’s glitchy. Many times, when I tried to adjust my bed’s temperature, the app wouldn’t pass those requests on. The same thing happened the first time I tried to switch from Zero G to Flat. The app froze completely and wouldn’t reopen after force-closing it. I had to restart my phone and wait for it to reconnect; it took nearly half an hour at a time when I just wanted to go to sleep.

There is a button on either side of the mattress base that can be configured to a “favorite” setting. I ended up making mine Flat so I’d have a way to physically override the app when it started acting up. Partway through my testing, Sleep Number sent me the optional $49 remote control for the bed. I highly, highly recommend that you purchase the remote. It solved my control issues and should be included automatically.

I also had some issues with the Sleep IQ app’s analytics. The insights program is supposed to track your sleep data, sharing tips on how to get better sleep. But the insights are … kind of … bad, especially if you work from home. The bed can’t tell the difference between, say, a half-hour working on your phone or having an afternoon tryst or trying to get a full night’s sleep. You have to manually edit all the automatically recorded erroneous sleep sessions, and the process for doing that is clunky. I don’t want to open an app every time I sit on my bed for half an hour! Even if the app defaulted to asking “Hey, did you just sleep for half an hour?” that would be better. Right now, SleepIQ just thinks my circadian rhythm is nonexistent. According to my Apple Health data, my sleep schedule is doing just fine.

And the app is invasive; it collects biometric data like heart rate variability and breathing rate. It does have a Privacy mode if you want to turn off data recording. But you can’t apply Privacy mode to only one half of the bed, and moreover the app openly recommends that you keep Privacy mode off. Gross. You know what’s an easier and more accurate way to keep track of your sleep data? Any fitness tracker or smartwatch. It probably won’t cost $10,000, either.

That leads to my final point. All evidence suggests that for the best sleep hygiene, we need to put down our phones and leave their stresses, blue light, and constant distractions behind. Struggling with a malfunctioning blue-lit app is the exact opposite. Also, the smart base is very loud during sex, so there’s that.

I don’t hate this bed; I’m just disappointed. I was promised a revolutionary sleep experience, and it was only so-so. Sleep Number says an update to the app is coming later this month. But I really question whether any of the so-called smarts on this smart bed were really smart—or even necessary—at all. It’s 2023, and if I wanted to spend $10,000, I would’ve gotten much better rest on a beach vacation. At this point, I might just buy a foot warmer.

You May Also Like

Nintendo Switch’s Animal Crossing is being turned into a HORROR movie

A TERRIFYING short film featuring a demon appearing from an Animal Crossing…

Orcas have complex social structures including close ‘friendships’ 

Killer whales – also known as orcas – have complex social structures…

Google Maps users receive important free upgrade that helps keeps their eyes on the road and avoid a nasty fine

GOOGLE maps users are getting an important free upgrade that allows them…

5 Best Rain Jackets (2020): Rains, The North Face, and More

Every time I slip on a rain jacket, I give thanks that…