Yes, worry, says Philippa Perry – the ‘Addiction Monster’ will always find a reason for you to carry on. But there is help available to you
The question I’m a woman in my late 50s. In my teens, like many others in the 1980s, I took a great many drugs – among them heroin. I never really became addicted. Unfortunately, I once overdosed. This scared me and with the help of methadone I finished with smack. I then became pregnant and had several children, so it seemed like a door closed.
However, every few years I feel the irresistible urge to go back – and I do, using a few times a month over a six-month period. Then I become afraid and I’m able to stop. Each time, I find the whole process of getting smack and all the paraphernalia (I inject) so tedious and anxiety-ridden. However, I honestly feel my use is not problematic or doing me any harm, although the strength and quality of it over time makes me anxious at the beginning of each period of use. Should I just stop worrying about this and accept this is me?
The Book You Want Everyone You Love* To Read *(and maybe a few you don’t) by Philippa Perry (Cornerstone, £18.99). To support The Guardian and Observer, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.
