SEEING is believing. You can never doubt what you see. Abraham was made to see his inheritance before he acquired it. So it becomes important for the husband to see his wife as an asset, and then treat her accordingly. Until you do this, the joy of marriage may elude you.
Your perception of something determines what it does for you. If you see marriage as a burden, it remains a burden to you but if you see it as a means of fulfillment, you will work it out and the end will give you joy and satisfaction.
Two dictionary meanings of ASSET read:
Advantageous resources; Sufficient to pay debts and legacies. These meanings apply to my topic. Your resources could be to your advantage or disadvantage depending on how you manage them. The leverage you give to it shows in your harvest. In treating your wife as an asset, You Must Accept Responsibility.
God says that seed and harvest time shall never cease. So, in every aspect of our life, marriage inclusive, we continue to plant, weed did harvest. In like manner, your wife becomes either fertile or sterile soil in your life depending on your choice, and the issue of choice is your responsibility.
- The quality of your seed, (b) How constant and careful you weed around your plant and (c) The position you place God concerning the affairs of your life all put together, will affect your result.
I advised wives to become their husband’s students so that they would enjoy peace and security. But for any man to expect his wife to be his student, there are special character traits he must first show or demonstrate. We are made to know that smooth and clear roads lead nowhere.
Whatever you do not sacrifice for, you may not appreciate and whatever you do not appreciate dies quickly. The husband’s readiness to make his wife trust him will expedite his wife’s decision to become his student. An elderly woman full of life narrated to me how her husband’s behavior prevented her from going into any financial venture with him.
According to her, the husband inherited parcels of land from his mother, in Awori land. Later on, somebody encroached on the land so they had to go to court to settle the matter. When the case ensued, there was a need for her husband to hire a lawyer and other things and she joyfully supported her husband.
She told me that she sold the gold bought for her by her mother as her wedding present to get enough funds to carry on with the case. At the end of the day, the husband won the case but he never confided in her how much was given to him as compensation.
She said, that as soon as the husband collected the money his attitude towards her changed. No more deliberation on matters. He started moving with a new set of friends, bought two cars as taxis without her consent, and so on. She said she was hurt.
She narrated the matter to her mother but the mother told her to let her husband know her feelings and whatever the outcome she should take it as God’s will. She made her feelings and grievances known to her husband but the husband refused to admit his mistake. And so she let go of the matter.
On the second occasion, during Udoj bonaza (they were civil servants), this woman collected her arrears and sought her husband’s advice on what to do with the money. The husband suggested that the two of them should contribute money together to buy a bus or taxi for transportation.
She agreed and even collected more money from her cooperative society to support the venture. In the end, she lost her investment and the husband kept a concubine who came to her office to fight her because she challenged her husband for keeping a mistress. With these incidents, she thought within herself that she was not going to divorce this man because of monetary issues; instead, she continued to relate with him on other issues but finance.
That is how they lived together until death parted them. Although we are not opportuned to hear the husband’s side of the story, you will agree with me that a woman will relate with her husband based on what he does. The law of sowing and reaping is constant. A deceitful and dishonest husband has no moral qualification to be his wife’s teacher. The man, in my opinion, dictates the extent his wife would go with him.
Appreciate Your Wife
There are men who are so kind and nice at their offices and outside their homes. They are Mr. Fix It. They know how to organize, and coordinate the affairs of others except theirs. In their house, they are a terror. Their thinking is: “l can be my true self in my house, this is my kingdom Let everyone honour me by doing my bidding. My behaviour notwithstanding, I must be regarded as Lord in my house. They are right to do or say whatever they want.
Such a man blames his wife for everything that goes wrong. He is never at fault; he knows it all and because; of the way he carries himself outside his house people find it difficult to understand why his wife should be hostile and unhappy; but I tell you, his behaviour has made his wife lose confidence in his person.
Some men find it difficult to assist their wives in the house. Everything is the wife’s responsibility. He is too busy to spend time with his family. She is the one to go to the market, cook in the kitchen, care for the children, carry them to school, go out with the children, think about the welfare of the children, and then go to her work or go about her own source of income in order to meet up. His only job is to provide money
Thank God you are able to buy her a car, provide a house maid to assist her, and give her pocket money, therefore those amenities have taken over your position in her life. But your touch, your sweet comment about her and her children and her physical appearance help to boost her self-esteem.
Despite all the comfort you think you have provided, you remain the source of your wife’s unhappiness just because you fail to commend her little effort and contribution. Because you fail to appreciate her for who she is, you continue to erode her self-confidence, and self-worth and she gradually loses faith in her relationship with you. Unknown to you as her husband, you become her number-one enemy.
No amount of comfort you may think you’ve given to your wife without you appreciating her, saying nice words to her hearing often, would make her your student. Even in a situation where you have nothing today, I assure you that you have the right attitude, and your wife is ready to go all the way with you to make you The fact that God proclaimed to the woman that her desire shall be to her husband and he shall rule over her; (Genesis chapter 3 verse 17), does not mean that she becomes your slave, without attention, affection, and praise.
You are the only one she expects to give her such affectionate touch and concern and once you fail her, she feels used. Your wife wants to be loved and cared for, to be protected, and to be provided for by someone she loves.
The fact is that when you, the husband, do not fulfill this divine order within your home, she then
rebels and loses her respect for you. Jesus summarized the Ten Commandments in two statements because the two are all-encompassing: Love your God with all your heart. Love your neighbour as yourself.
Our Lord knows that if you love God, it becomes easy for you to love your neighbour and as such you will treat your neighbour the way you want him or her to treat you. God specifically told husbands to love their wives for He knows your failure to show love makes it difficult for your own wife to be submissive to you. The two go together.
Just as your seed determines what you reap at harvest time, a husband or/wife who decides to
choose favourites among his children is setting his house on fire which will eventually consume him. Jacob and Rebekah, his mother never saw each other again for life since the day he (Jacob) ran away from his brother. Esau after Jacob had deceitfully taken his brother’s blessing. Isaac realized he made a destructive mistake but it was too late for him to correct it. Both parents acted as catalysts to create enmity between their children stands as covenant obligation and you must nurture them properly if they are to be a blessing to their generation. Your children stand to nullify your debts to humanity.
They are your legacies after you have passed on they become an everlasting pride of your family. This is the more reason why you should perceive your wife as a honourable tool in your hands.
She is in your life to meet a divine need. Her absence creates a vacuum that cannot be filled any other way. If you desire to leave a genuine legacy for posterity, then marriage is not just by choice but by divine order. So treat your wife nicely so as to make her your student.
