At our core, we all need to love and be loved. You have tried your best, says Annalisa Barbieri; keep doing what you can
After years of trying to have a baby, my husband and I adopted a girl of early primary school age. Despite doing lots of homework, we were naive. Our daughter presented with a host of challenging behaviour we felt ill-equipped to cope with. She was subsequently diagnosed with disorganised attachment disorder and learning disabilities. She found it hard to attach to us because of the trauma and neglect she had experienced.
Growing up, we had some lovely moments with her, although she continued to provide many challenges. After a few years, we became desperate: we travelled a huge distance to access support and our relationship with her improved. We had new techniques to prevent situations from escalating, and were able to bond with her to an extent. She got accepted into college and seemed more focused on her GCSEs.
