It sounds like she is the one with self-worth issues, says Mariella Frostrup. Tell her how this makes you feel and establish boundaries and ground rules

The dilemma My partner of two years told me that she had been single for 12 years before I asked her out, but then, six months into our relationship, she told me her last partner was the love of her life and, after they broke up, they continued to regularly have sex for 10 years. She also recently told me she still loves him, but is no longer in love and that he is incredibly good-looking. She maintains she was single for 12 years because they “just” had sex together regularly.

I don’t understand how this could happen. You are with someone or you’re not. I am scared she will be unable to resist him and never really be able to love me. It is haunting. She has never said I am good-looking. She once said our sex is OK, but hopes it will get better and that, based on her own experience, sex gets better the longer the relationship. Should I be worried?

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