It no longer matters why your friend isn’t there for you, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Dwelling on the reasons will lead to more hurt
I have known my closest friend for 25 years. We had children at the same time which brought us closer, and I would see her at least once a week. The children are older, we both have busy jobs, but I have not seen her for a year and her replies to my message are becoming less frequent. I think I’m being ghosted.
I am guessing why this might be the case. I do not live close enough and she has a big group of lifelong friends – that I’m outside of – who do live nearby. Also I’ve been addressing codependency in my family, which may highlight hers. I’ve heard less from her since a close relative of mine died. She didn’t seem to want to go through that with me, or didn’t understand that I was grieving. I felt very let down.
