I Stopped Saying This Word, and It Changed Everything

August 24, 2021 4 min read

As an editor, I think a lot about language. But as a person living in the world, I often overlook its importance — just as I’m sure you do.

That’s a missed opportunity. Language isn’t only the articulation of our thoughts; language helps shape how we think. Linguists have studied this for decades and have endless fascinating examples. Here’s one I love: When you and I give directions, we use common English words — we say “left” or “right,” and “forward” or “back.” These directions are centered on ourselves or other objects; we are often talking about something to the left of us. But an Aboriginal Australian community called the Thaayorre have no words like these. They instead use fixed orientations: north, south, east, west. Arranging furniture, they might tell you to move the couch southeast a little.

Related: Go Where You Don’t ‘Belong’

Consider what those words do to their minds. For basic directions to make sense, they must always be aware of their orientation in the world — something English speakers rarely are. In this way, language creates a prism through which we see our existence.

How can this insight be helpful to us? To start, here’s how I started using it.

For the longest time, I relied on the word enjoy. If I sent somebody a thing I made, I’d say, “I hope you enjoy it!” If someone complimented me on an article or a podcast, I replied, “I’m glad you enjoyed it!”

That made sense, in a way. I want people to enjoy my work! Enjoyment struck me as the highest level of accomplishment.

Related: The 3 Most Dangerous Words In Entrepreneurship: “This Is Impossible”

But recently, I started to rethink this. I did a survey of my Build for Tomorrow podcast audience, and I discovered that people don’t say they “enjoy” the show — they say it helps them feel better about the future. Then I started to think about why people read Entrepreneur magazine. Are they (are you?) reading for joy, in the way someone eats cake for joy? Unlikely.

I suspect that many people don’t read this magazine because they want to read a magazine. They read Entrepreneur because they expect it to have knowledge that they find valuable.

Therefore, you are not here for joy. You are here for enrichment — and sure, it’s nice to enjoy that enrichment, but enjoyment alone is not the goal. If you wanted pure enjoyment, you’d probably do something else with your time.

I should always be aware of that. I build better relationships with my audience — and do my job better! — if my work is valuable rather than simply enjoyable.

How could I drill this into my head, and start seeing my role differently? I stopped using the word enjoy. I instead started using the word useful. Now when I send someone my work, I say, “I hope you find this useful.” When someone compliments me, I reply, “I’m so glad this was useful.”

It’s one simple word change. But the impact on me has been profound.

When I engage with someone, I constantly catch myself using the word enjoy and course-correct to useful, which in turn reminds me of the role I should play in other people’s lives. Whenever I write something, I speak to myself with a greater mission. I ask myself things like, What subject will be most useful? What will my reader learn from this?

Related: Want to Improve Your Communication Skills? Stop Saying These 25 Words.

You can do this, too, no matter your role. What actions do you take, relationships do you foster, or goals do you work toward that rely upon unconsidered language? What small change could shift your perspective, forcing you to think about your world differently? It’s impossible to consciously change our whole worldview, but we sure can change one simple word — and see how the implications of that change ripple outward. It’s as small but significant as the difference between telling someone to go “right” instead of “east.”     

Language matters. Words matter — and one word at a time, we can shift them to our advantage. That’s why I hope you found this column (enjoyable) useful.