What’s reasonable in a relationship is not a zero-sum game, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith – imagine you could both get what you want

I’ve recently re-entered into a relationship with my ex-partner. It seems to be good when we’re around each other – but the moment we’re apart there becomes issues (which is most of the week because we live apart). The problems stem from me not replying quickly to messages – even when I’m out with friends or at work – and me not expressing my love for her as often as she’d like in messages.

I decided to write in today because I last saw her four hours ago, after I left work to help her buy a car, and she’s saying she misses me, but it’s only been four hours and I’ve found myself having to lie and say I miss her too when I don’t. It’s only been four hours!

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