You are uncomfortable because you feel you’re being manipulated, says Annalisa Barbieri. These presents are about control
I’m struggling with the avalanche of presents my partner’s mother sends: expensive gifts, often in duplicate and triplicate. I’ve thanked her and tried to say that it’s more than enough, but things keep coming. I feel as if the gifts have strings attached.
I’m uncomfortable saying anything more to her about it, as my partner’s relationship with her is complicated (he had an abusive childhood); she lives abroad with her new husband. My partner previously cut her out of his life for some years, and the past few years have been an uneasy truce. I don’t see any of this as my business, but unfortunately she continually involves me, making it clear that she prefers me to my partner, and addressing most of the presents to me.