As much as I’d like to see him choke on a kangaroo testicle before Christmas, the prospect of a Hancock win has shaken me to my core. Let’s examine the data
While at first Matt Hancock joining I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! might have seemed like a delightful way to end a horrible year – everything is awful, but at least we’ll get to see a baddie choke on a kangaroo testicle before Christmas – a chilling realisation has swept through my bones. What if he actually wins?
This would be terribly upsetting. We want Hancock to remain on the show for as long as possible, in order to break his spirit, but the thought of him soaking up any level of glory from his stint in the jungle is nothing short of harrowing. So to assuage our fears, it’s time to employ some data. Will Hancock win it? Let’s break this down.
