Professional dancer Cheryl Burke opened up on her struggle with body dysmorphia during her time on “Dancing with the Stars,” saying she grappled with “self hate” and is now on a path self acceptance and love.
The 39-year-old star spoke on her 26-season run on the show on Tuesday’s episode of “The Amy and T.J. Podcast,“ hosted by former ABC anchors Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes.
“I could train you,” Burke joked to Holmes, “but as far as wearing one of the outfits, I would probably get on some sort of strict diet. But that’s my body dysmorphia that I’ll forever have. I’ve very open with that.”
“You’ve seen me grow up on this show. I started when I was 21 years old. I went through this horrific ‘she’s too fat for TV, too,’” Burke recalled. “I was growing into who I am as a woman, and with that I did gain weight, you know.”
She said around season seven she saw her body being talked about on local Los Angeles news station KTLA, noting that “Dancing with the Stars” viewers had been discussing her weight in general. Seeing it covered in the news was “something I’ll never forget,” she said.
“Did I gain a few pounds during the hiatus? Yes, naturally, right we do? I am curvy in comparison to a lot of the other professional women so whenever I did gain weight it was a thing,” she explained.
“I think nowadays no one would ever say anything, times have changed,” she added.
Robach asked if the show ever put pressure on her to be a certain size or fit a certain outfit.
“I think it was my noise. Nothing to me personally, like no one has ever come up to me and said you need to lose weight,” Burke explained.
But at the time, her self perception — where “I literally look at myself in the mirror and don’t necessarily see what other people see” — would heavily impact her behind the scenes.
“It would really alter my mood to where if I felt heavy or if I felt bloated, and I was putting on a costume, then all my insecurities would come out on other people, onto my partner, just in general, just because of that self hate that I had for myself. Am I still there? I’m not gonna say I’m fully recovered, I’m still healing,” she said.
Burke said that’s she’s been consistently in therapy for the last decade and has been on a journey of self-love and self-respect.
She explained that she “really has to make an effort to compliment myself in my gratitude journal — it’s a whole thing, because my brain has been trained to pick out the negatives, in general.”
Leaving the show in November 2022 was no easy decision, but “I felt like it was time for me to grow and evolve in my career,” Burke said.
“I didn’t want to leave the show. This was my family,” she said, but noted that being a professional dancer isn’t a career that lasts forever, and there’s a physical toll over time.
“Also knowing in the back of my mind, I’m the oldest girl here and … the actual self hate I felt got louder and louder,” she recalled.
Instead, she hoped to transition into another role on the show, not as a professional dancer, but that didn’t pan out.
She also spoke on not being invited back to the show for the tribute performance for longtime judge Len Goodman, who passed away in April 2023. The tribute saw other original cast members return to the set.
Robach asked, “Why do you think that happened?”
“I would assume, some people may not be happy with my podcast,” Burke replied referring to her podcast, “Sex, Lies and Spraytans” that may have bothered ABC. On the show, which launched in September, she dishes on behind-the-scenes secrets of “Dancing with the Stars” with her former co-stars and partners as guests.
“I found out when everyone else found out. And that was just such a stab in the heart for me. I just couldn’t believe that I wasn’t included in something so special,” Burke recalled. “Regardless, if you want to look up ‘OG’ in the dictionary — I should have been there.”
Source: | This article originally belongs to Nbcnews.com
