The case of ‘accidentally withheld’ messages to a Tory donor has been convincingly closed via strongly worded letter
There were many excruciating bits in the exposure of Boris Johnson’s affair with cray-cray model-slash-infosec-entrepreneur Jennifer Arcuri (who I can’t help but retain a soft spot for, even if she has been fully red-pilled these days). One of the worst, though, was when Arcuri found herself, in the eye of the media storm, being ghosted by Johnson. The one time she successfully got through to him on his mobile to ask him how to handle it, she found herself being mocked by someone “pretending to speak in a Chinese accent”. Or rather, “someone”. I cannot believe that this someone is now involved in further phone-related shithousery – but I guess you never really know anyone.
Still, like me, you probably cannot get enough of brilliant prime ministerial investigator Lord Geidt, whose ability to piece together highly complex cases such as “who paid for this £840 roll of wallpaper and why?” marks him out as one of the most fascinatingly unconventional detectives of the era. You’d stop just shy of comparing Geidt with Sherlock Holmes, perhaps – but in the decorative mystery of the Downing Street flat refurbishments, his lordship was certainly Ideal Holmes. Only Ideal Holmes would somehow be able to conclude absolutely nothing from the fact that in the very message in which the prime minister asked for a huge sum of money from a Tory donor, Johnson felt moved to add, apparently ingratiatingly, “PS am on the great exhibition plan Will revert”. Nor from the fact that in the very message in which the Tory donor told the prime minister the money was on the way, he replied – apparently ingratiated – “Thanks for thinking about GE2”.
Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist
