When my husband, Greg Gilbert from Delays, died I could no longer bear to listen to my favourite music. Instead, I soothed my grief by dancing around the kitchen to K-pop
As a teenager I had no time for screaming along to Take That and East 17. You’d be more likely to find me at the local record fair in stripy tights and cherry red Dr Martens, hunting for Bikini Kill picture discs. Boybands seemed trivial as I gorged on albums such as The Cure’s Faith, Babes in Toyland’s Fontanelle and Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness – records that soundtracked my youth and held my hands through break-ups and a mental breakdown.
I was married to Greg Gilbert, the lead singer of Delays, whom he often referred to as a “moderately successful indie band” in the Britpop 2.0 wave of the mid 2000s. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2016 and died late last year. During the five years of his illness, I found solace in the music of my teenage years. There was safety in that sound, it was from a time when I felt invincible, at ease and hopeful for the future. It helped me remember who I was before I became jaded from watching the person I love slowly die in front of me.
