Absent from a debate about MPs’ outside earnings, the prime minister could instead be found skulking in a CT scan room

Hugely encouraging to find Boris Johnson treating Monday’s emergency debate on sleaze like the birth of a lovechild. Which is to say, he was unfortunately washing his hair. Metaphorically, of course. I get a strong “Mate, after eight weeks, hair cleans itself” energy from the prime minister.

The House of Commons isn’t going to clean itself, unfortunately, which makes it all the more regrettable that Johnson always feels the need to get away from his mistakes. By next year, he’ll have billed the taxpayer for a full-scale Fortress of Solitude, with the only locked-on certainty being that Kwasi Kwarteng will assure us the £38bn crystal cave is a non-story.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

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