To move on you need to recognise that your type is not your type, says Philippa Perry

The question I am a gay man with a relationship problem. I was very much in love with my ex-boyfriend for the first three years of our relationship. Problems started when he asked me to marry him. I felt us disconnecting and asked to go and see a relationship counsellor. It didn’t help. He said some things in session that still smart today. For example, he said our partnership was like a whining child he wants to run away from. I became more distraught about the deterioration of the relationship as he became more distant.

The wedding plans stalled. The final straw was him arranging a big holiday with his friend and I was not consulted or invited. I was desperate and one day after he’d insulted me, I said I was ending it. Once I’d calmed down I tried taking that back, but he wasn’t having any of it. I never saw him again.

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