The PM’s fiancee was right to be upset at the suggestion she would abandon her rescue dog

While obviously not the most important takeaway from The Great Outpouring, Dominic Cummings really hates Carrie Symonds, doesn’t he? Understandable really. She took his best mate away. They were so close, but then she came along and Boris didn’t have time for him any more… Oh sorry, I appear to have segued into a half-remembered Byker Grove storyline – a “teaching moment” for schoolboy viewers about feeling left out when your mate gets a girlfriend. Only in the Westminster version, a pandemic is brewing and Cummings depicts Symonds “going crackers about something completely trivial” – a story claiming that Dilyn, the jack russell cross she rescued with Boris Johnson, was being “reshuffled”. Thing is, though, I understand why Symonds was upset and I rather like her for it.

Cummings clearly wanted to present Symonds as a Violet Elizabeth Bott figure, a preposterous, demanding drag on the prime minister’s focus at a critical moment. Admittedly, the now-leaked letter of complaint Symonds drafted to the Times is an overwrought belter, citing violations, demanding corrections and ending with the classic: “We look forward to hearing from you as a matter of urgency.” Elsewhere, never mind the first fiancee’s taste for swanky decor, stories abound about her pushing animal welfare agendas and exerting undue influence over No 10 hiring and firing. Still, when it comes to being a pandemic liability, I have two words for Cummings: “Barnard” and “Castle”. As for the letter, it’s an absurd, messy, emotional overreaction… and I completely relate.

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