Analysis: James Newman began like a Daniel Bedingfield B-side and went downhill from there
For those who see Eurovision as a proxy war, avenging geopolitical resentments under the cover of glitter and tight trousers, the odds were always stacked against the UK winning this year’s contest.
Pretty much every country may have had a reason to begrudge the UK. Perhaps EU nations have not forgiven us for Brexit. The Russians still cannot believe we did not swallow that story about their secret agents visiting Salisbury Cathedral. The Australians, they might be sore about the trade deal row.