Good evening, Europe! The song contest is back at last. Join us on a glorious ride through every performance, every vote … expect pyrotechnics, dry ice, green screen gimmicks and one giant Russian dress

You’ll notice I’m new here, by the way. Just so you know where we are coming from, I unashamedly love Eurovision, watched it as a kid, watched it with ironic post-modern detachment when I was a pretentious twentysomething, and then have grown to truly love it and introduce it to my own kids as the wonderful, glorious and absolutely ridiculous celebration of music that it is.

But I don’t take it too seriously, so if you are here for the latest betting tips and an accurate inside track on what is going to win, I’m not your man.

Bienvenue! Välkommen! Witaj! Добро пожаловать! Welcome! Do come in and settle down for our live coverage of the 2021 Eurovision Song Contest, which gets underway on the hour in Rotterdam in the Netherlands.

Yes, after last year’s enjoyable Eurovision: Shine A Light show replaced the cancelled contest, we are back with a competitive tussle again. 26 songs, one winner, and several hours of biting nails as the votes seemingly come in from 1,057 different countries.

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