Don’t try to change your family, says Mariella Frostrup. Loosen the ties and share ideas and inspiration with like-minded companions
The dilemma I am 52 years old, divorced, and have two adult children who live and work away. Recently, the relationship I have with my mum and dad has become very strained. They are in their mid-70s and they voted for Brexit, which has been a sticking point ever since. Each time we talk, it ends up about politics. I was embarrassed at my dad’s Ukip poster in the window – paradoxically, he had taught me, growing up, to be a socialist, not to be elitist and to treat everyone the same. The pair of them have turned into rightwing, xenophobic, fake snobs and it truly disgusts me.
Coupled with that they are Covid law-breakers – they regularly have extended family inside their house and my mother gets offended that I will only stand on the doorstep wearing a mask to visit her. She declares: “We haven’t got the plague, you know.” They are comfortably well off and I don’t ask for anything from them. My sister has also breached Covid regulations and she works in the NHS and that astounds me. I get texts from my mum and dad and wider family, all telling me that I am a disgrace for avoiding meeting them. I used to have a happy relationship with them, but now I can’t bear them because of their views.
