James identifies four kinds of wisdom in James 3:15. There is earthly wisdom—that is, common sense, which you are born with. An example is how to eat. You don’t have to go to school to acquire it.
The reason many people are discontented today is because they compare themselves with other people. You know how it goes. You start out in a perfectly good mood, happy as can be, but then you see one of your coworkers drive up in a brand-new car. You start thinking,
“I wish I had a new car. Here I am, driving this old clunker.”
Before long, your good mood is gone, and you are discouraged and discontented. Or maybe you see a friend walk into the room, and she is being escorted by her handsome husband, who looks as though he just stepped out of GQ magazine. Then you look over at your husband… and… well, you get my point.
But it’s as silly to compare your spouse to somebody else’s spouse as it is to compare your talent, abilities, or education to somebody else’s. Such comparisons are almost always counterproductive, causing you to lose your joy. Just run your race. Don’t worry about anyone else.
Not long ago, I heard a minister on television tell how he got out of bed every day at four o’clock in the morning and prayed for two hours. My first thought was,
“Oh, my. I don’t pray for two hours a day, and I surely don’t get up that early.”
The more I thought about it, the worse I felt!
Finally, I had to get a hold of myself and say,
“That’s great for him, but thank God, it’s not great for me! I’m going to run my race, and I’m not going to feel guilty or badly about myself just because I’m not doing what he’s doing.”
God has an individual plan for each of our lives. Just because something works for somebody else doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to work for you. God gives each of us special grace to do what He’s called us to do. If we make the mistake of trying to copy other people, we’re going to be frequently frustrated, and we’re going to waste a lot of time and energy. Worse yet, we may miss the good things God has for us to do!
I’ve seen mothers who are always running their children here and there, investing a lot of time in their kids. Their children are involved in every club and sport, and usually, that’s great. But some moms simply try to copy another person, or they enroll their children in all sorts of activities out of a sense of guilt and condemnation.
Some frantic, frazzled parents are so desperately trying to keep up with their peers (their peers, not their children’s!), they are missing the entire point of the horizon-expanding programs in the first place. Not only that, but all that running around is wearing out Mom and Dad!
Here’s some good news: You don’t have to keep up with anyone else. You can run your own race and be an individual. God has given you the grace to do what He’s called you to do. He has not given you the grace to do what everybody else is doing. You don’t have to be the best mother in the world; just be the best mother that you can be.
I may not ever be the world’s greatest pastor. I may not be the best husband or the best father, but I’m determined to be the best I can be. And I’m not going to feel bad about myself. If somebody can do what I do better, fine. I’m not in a contest; I’m not comparing myself with anyone else. As far as I’m concerned, I’m number one! I know I’m doing the best I can do.
