A mood of listlessness grips the Commons as one by one Conservative MPs check out

A zombie parliament is gonna zombie. All across Westminster, almost nothing stirs. MPs sleep in their offices to escape the midday sun. Ministers collapse with exhaustion after being asked to recite Rishi Sunak’s five priorities. Far too knackered to even dream of doing anything about them. Not that anyone would notice. Even the rats can barely move from their hiding places.

Matt Hancock is idly making TikTok videos of his favourite drinks. He has to do something, I suppose. He is now a life coach in futility. Otherwise the only sound is of Nadine Dorries. An endless wailing lament for the peerage that never was. A tragedy on an epic scale. One worthy of at least 10 days national mourning. Make that 11. This is far bigger than the death of the queen.

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