Marriage is not an audition, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. If you stay, stay with commitment – and you won’t be the last to have complicated feelings for an ex

My ex has unblocked my number and she rang me when she found out I had moved on quickly and married someone new. I have been hit by very strong fond memories of my ex and now feel the love for my new wife is fading very fast. This is causing me a great deal of stress. What can I do?

Eleanor says: I’m curious about the process of getting married to someone when there was an ex whose reappearance could derail things so quickly. Does your wife know about the ex? Have you had conversations about the possibility of residual feelings? If so, was it an “even if she came back I’d still choose you” or “she won’t come back so the issue won’t arise”?

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