Environment secretary leaves Birmingham with egg on face while Rish! endures Brexit psychodrama

All praise the government of all the talentless. Or look at it this way. If Thérèse Coffey can make it to the cabinet, how useless do the rest of the Tory MPs have to be not to make the cut? Or perhaps Coffey has some svengali-like hold over Rishi Sunak. Can bend him to her will. Because let’s be honest, there’s no obvious sign of intelligent life in her. She’s at her most convincing when she’s at her most unconscious.

You’d have thought the environment secretary would have taken notes. Would have seen Sunak and Mark Spencer crash and burn at the National Farmers’ Union (NFU) conference in Birmingham on Monday, and made an effort to raise her game before facing the same crowd on Tuesday.

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