The key to a successful wine investment, it appears, is not to drink it

Are you happy with your relationship with wine? I’m finding mine a bit complicated. Last week, my wife and I went to a swanky restaurant for dinner. The second lockdown was coming, and it was our last chance to have food brought to us by people who weren’t driving scooters. And of course I wanted to order some wine. A bottle of wine, in fact. A 75cl bottle of red wine, to be precise.

Except of course, when it comes to wine, that isn’t being very precise. A waiter handed me a long and tightly printed list, which was vaguely reminiscent of the incomprehensible pages in the middle of my grandfather’s copy of the Daily Telegraph on which share prices were printed. Roughly 46% of the items on this impenetrable document were 75cl bottles of red wine. I scanned the names for something familiar and saw various references to tempranillo, which rang a bell.

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