Your sensitivity to life’s fragility is understandable, but there are ways to help yourself live more in the present
The question I am a mum of three, but one of my children died as a baby. The other two are now 34 and 29 and because I think I have been subconsciously trying to keep them alive ever since, I have become their go-to support, emotionally (relationships, work, lack of, friendships – anything really), financially and physically (I will drop everything to be by their side whenever necessary).
This also impacts on my husband, who provides the finances and though he is extremely generous, cannot understand the bond I have with them and why they turn to me so much (he doesn’t have children of his own and would not have dreamed of calling his own parents in such circumstances as mine call me). The problem lies with me, obviously. I worry day and night, suffer night terrors regularly as well as insomnia and I have an overwhelming feeling of failure as a parent coupled with pressure to make them happy somehow – I took antidepressants even before my twins were born because I had a difficult childhood and lost both parents at a very young age, but was determined to overcome depression without drugs because of the side-effects, but now I feel pretty much broken. How can I change and deal with this?
