Replacing things that aren’t broken helps push up GDP, but is absurd. Much like Tory economic policy

How often, would you say, do chairs break? I’m going to open the bidding with “not very often”. Not never. God, no. I’m not saying that! I won’t be cornered into such an absurd pronouncement. That would be “Liz Truss will never be prime minister” all over again! But my general expectation, when in a room, is that most of the chairs are going to remain functional until I leave it. The same thing used to be said of prime ministers.

More often than seeing a chair break, you come across one that’s basically already broken, betraying saucy glimpses of dowel, for the imps of fate to guide the ample posterior of a sensitive soul towards on some relatively public occasion, preferably while the soul is holding a large slice of gateau.

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