Losing my mother during a pandemic has been surreal and confusing; it’s hard to figure out what moving forward looks like

During the early days of Covid-19, I never considered that the virus could take my favorite person from me, but my mother was in a high-risk situation. She had been living in a geriatric center trying to recover from a heart attack that caused severe brain damage. Even before Covid, I had prayed that if she wasn’t going to come back to us as the hilarious, free-spirited protector we knew, perhaps she should be put out of her suffering. Still, I was blindsided in July when there was a phone call, a shriek, a crack in the sky.

Losing my mother during a pandemic has been a surreal and confusing experience. My mind is grappling with that huge change while my day-to-day is repetitive and mundane. Six months into this crisis, with no events and few visitors to distract myself, it’s hard to figure out what moving forward looks like.

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